Tuesday, July 1, 2008

yea i've this dream. i avoid chocolate milk before bed now.

“I'm having that dream again doctor”

 

“What dream?”

 

“Well it starts off pretty good I guess. I'm having breakfast with this really gorgeous chick and I'm having cereal and it’s seriously the best damn cereal ever. I mean it’s like the heaven of all cereal, like if god had a cereal this would be it. Godios or something u know?”

 

“Can u move past the cereal? You’re on the clock here”

 

“Yea sure sorry, well I having cereal with this chick and were not talking or anything so i'm feeling awkward you know?”

 

“So this dream is about the awkwardness? Do u think it has something to do with what we talked about last time?”

 

“What was that I don’t remember?”

 

“You have a bad relationship with your mother. 70 bucks an hour and you don’t listen do you?”

 

“Oh yea gotcha. Na nothing to do with that doc. I talked to my mum yesterday she’s fine.”

 

“Good good so continue”

 

“Ok well its getting awkward so I try say something, something smooth you know to make her laugh. And as soon as I open my mouth she knocks my cereal bowl on the floor and starts screaming. Like banshee wailing scream and i'm just sitting there crying over my cereal I mean my godios are all over the floor i'm beside myself.”

 

“Ok stop focusing on the cereal”

 

“Yea sorry. Hey u got a new couch I didn’t notice. Its nice”

 

“You like it? Its Italian, imported very expensive. Take your feet off it. Now.”

 

“Whoops sorry doc. Yea so anyway we both making this horrible noise and then there is this knock at the door and I go over and open it and there is Mr. Muscle in the door.”

 

“Mr. Muscle? You mean the cleaning product mascot?”

 

“Yea that one. And he’s walks past me and starts mopping up my cereal all efficient like. But there’s something weird about his mop.”

 

“Weird?”

 

“Yea weird. Its skin coloured but I cant see it clearly so I walk around the front of him and there is he with his fly open. He’s got a mop where his pe….”

 

“You’re not joking are you?”

 

“No I kid you not Mr. Muscle has a mop in his pants.”

 

“Please leave.”

 

“What?”

 

“Leave. Now. Right now.”

 

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